Ascending to consciousness

The ‘Rising’ paintings and internal alchemy

Artists are quite funny because we often talk about immensely important subject matters, of mind-bending significance, but to most viewers, we fail to translate it into visual art. For example, the other day, an artist that I love posted a muddy blob on Instagram. It was a small canvas titled: ‘Portals’. I am sure many people did not get it – how does this represent a portal? It looks like a palette accident? What does the artist mean by ‘Portals’? Portals to where?

So many questions but really, they don’t matter. Only one thing matters: if the artist believes it is a portal, then it is a portal. If we artists do not believe in our own creations, then nobody will. We each have our own worlds and our own frequencies, and they are not for everybody. Many successful creatives are not necessarily the best ones out there; they are just the ones who managed to create something that resonated with the most amount of people.

And with that intro about niche work being unproblematic, I will elaborate on why I paint Rising figures as well as Falling ones.

I usually paint the Rising figures with a pull around the solar plexus chakra (diaphragm area). The beam of light is a symbolic string representing our connection to Source. The idea behind this is that we are all shards of God/ Source/ Universal Intelligence. With each ascension step towards our higher minds and consciousness, we can get closer to the divine within us.

Some 'Risings' and ascension paintings (2015 - 2025)

So what does ‘ascending to consciousness’ mean? In relatable terms, it is when you change and grow. This happens to everyone, all the time. We are meant to change. Whether we know it or not, we are on expansion, growth and healing journeys.

“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change”

- Albert Einstein

If we don’t budge, we might be sent back to try again (ugh).

There are endless ways we ascend; making tough changes to get out of depression, meditating, serving others, or - a common one - the growth spurt from becoming a parent (guaranteed ego death).

Every time you are overwhelmed with a challenge but manage to get yourself back on your feet, you rise again stronger than ever. You unlock the next level. Alas, there is more work to do. Because unless you are levitating and casually letting emotions flow through you like weather, you still have some way to go. I’m joking, kind of.

I disagree with people who say the focus on bettering oneself is overrated. We can only heal the outside world by getting rid of our own conflicts and putting our own house in order. All one can do is lead by example. Maybe the only way to change the world is one by one. Therefore, working on yourself is of the utmost importance. Strive to outgrow your own limitations and watch yourself morph into a human that serves, inspires and creates, and not someone hurtful, who harms and destroys.

Below is a painting I made earlier this year during an artists’ residency in Finland. It shows what has worked for me so far. I see the way to ascension as a triangle, representing Mind, Body and Soul. All three must be tended to. For example, you can be fit as a fiddle but if you’ve never been to therapy, chances are that you are unlikely to grow as you keep your initial programming for life. Or you can be a spiritual genius; leading with your intuition, meditating, laying down your ego, but if you neglect your physical health, there’s your blockage.

I have had no choice but to look inwards due to my daily (& nightly) metaphysical challenges over the last couple of decades. When I tried to explain that this was the basis of my art during my MFA at the School of Visual Arts in New York in 2017, I got torn apart. Every crit ended in tears. “You can’t use the word soul”, “Don’t say Divine Love”, “Avoid Metaphysical stuff”, “Ground your work in external references”, “Why is your figure a white female”, “Your vagina owns you”, “Your sexual stuff is anti-feminist”… the list is long. If I could go back, I would tell them that how they react to my work is not my business. Why I regret doing a prestigious MFA is a different essay though.

I paint so that I can heal the ancestral trauma in my cells. It is my calling. I paint to heal my sacral chakra and my heart. I heal by turning my emotional pain into power through transmuting negative emotions into something positive - art. Most importantly, I paint so that my descendants can be free. Perhaps, also, one day, my work will help someone with the same problem as me.

I am on a self love journey, constantly working towards self mastery, with my personal issues lying at the core of all my work. Some days I am grateful to the Universe for what I am learning on my mission, including the art of surrender. Other days, I despair and hate my mission, wondering if a bunch of drunk aliens are in charge. All I know from these cycles, these rises and these falls, is that I still have a long way to go on my ascension journey.

Update: My husband kindly pointed out that I am assuming whoever reads this has also read my previous post on the Falling paintings. Here it is x